Is now the right time to look for a new job?
The one question that always seems to be top of mind when considering a job change is, is now the right time? It’s easy to talk ourselves out of change. Change is scary and often takes more effort than staying in our current situation, even if less than ideal. We work to convince ourselves that it’s not “that bad”. Maybe I should give it more time or it will be better if I wait a bit. More often than not these thoughts are being driven by our discomfort, not the reality of the situation.
How do we leave behind the things that got us to where we are today? How do we comfortably make space in our lives for new things to come, by shedding those that came before? All, without feeling guilty, wrong or uncomfortable? Well, it’s a tricky business. But one we can do with grace.
Life changes. Of course it does. You graduate, you get a job, you get married, have kids (at least, that’s how it goes for some people). As we evolve, our lives change and our needs evolve with it. And often, with these changes, comes a changing set of priorities. In order to continue to focus on what matters to you, sometimes it makes sense to redefine the boundaries in your life. This may mean asking a partner for more help at home, which can be hard enough. But sometimes this requires talking to a boss about a more regular schedule, or a coworker about those late night emails. Whatever this looks like, setting clear, definable boundaries allows you to align your life around your priorities. It also gives you a clear view of those things that may no longer fit in with the new you.
As we go about our busy days rushing from one task to the next focused on how to get it all done our minds often spend more time fixated on what is coming then what is or has been. Because of this, gratitude sometimes falls by the wayside. We forget to be thankful in the moment for all that we already have because we are so focused on getting somewhere else.
We know that we should be grateful and many of us put in effort to show our gratitude to others in our daily interactions. But gratitude is not something we should save to bestow on other people. It is something we should be living and feeling in our everyday lives.
I understand that we are sometimes faced with times when we need to just do what needs to be done. This is true especially in hard times, and especially for many right now. While we need to prioritize things like keeping the lights on and food on our table, we cannot forget about what we want. What sets our soul on fire. What makes us happy.
There have been times in my life where I have settled because I felt like it was what I should do, or because I convinced myself that it was what I needed to do. It’s not necessarily the settling that was so detrimental, but the amount of time I stayed and allowed it to continue. I kept jobs I didn’t like for longer than I needed to, and I allowed people to treat me a certain way because I convinced myself I was paying my dues instead of speaking up for myself. Having to do hard things is a part of life. Not liking every moment is a part of life, but staying in that situation because of fear of the unknown, or worse, because it’s the easy thing to do, is defeat. You will rob yourself of your happiness and you will wake up to wonder what may have been.
Now more then ever women need the support of other women. Support that validates our feelings and emotional needs. That recognizes our struggles and assures us we are all walking through this together. We need women who stand up and aren’t afraid to discuss the inequities inherent in the situation we now find ourselves. We need women to advocate for each other, to have each other’s backs and to continue to cheer each other on. But the reality is as much as we can and SHOULD be each other’s biggest cheerleaders women can sometimes be each other’s toughest critics. Why is that?
As women we are surrounded with messages about female empowerment, we scream from the rooftops that we can do ANYTHING. And that we can do it better. We are told we can have all the success we desire if only we just “lean in.” If we push harder, play bigger, manage our emotions, keep our personal lives well, personal and honestly—play like a man. So what happens when a strong, driven woman, like me, decides she doesn’t want to play by someone else’s rules anymore?
It is apparent that it would be impossible for us to emerge from this pandemic unchanged. The choice now is to commit to allowing change for the better. To emerge with new skills and tools. The lessons we can learn about mindset from our current challenges will last us a lifetime. Mindset after all is a decision, a choice to choose differently. To choose hope, love, positivity and to look for opportunities to grow instead of only seeing negatives, fear and loss. Shifting your mindset may not alter the course of events but it will change your view of the world – your perception is your reality.
As the impacts of this pandemic are felt globally and we adjust to a new “normal” at least for the next several weeks there are things we can control. Obviously exercising prudence and appropriate levels of caution as guided by health officials should go without saying. Appropriately focusing on the good of the whole and protecting those most vulnerable.
But how can we as individuals reframe our perspective to show up as our best selves in the upcoming weeks. To control our internal dialogue and our outward outlook.
Bullying has become a hot topic in recent years, but when we think of bullying, we most often think about kids in the school yard. However this epidemic is not limited just to school-time nastiness or social media. It is alive and thriving in the workplace.